Heroes: The Interview
by Jokerfest
Summary: Hero time is back with the Petrelli family!Let's see how the feuding family unfolds!Was Arthur's plot to kill Nathan really the right idea?Will Elle ever stop shocking Ando? Is Sylar really the baddest compared to Nathan?Are future Peter and Peter friend
1. Interview Part 1

Alright so I am into the comedic scene I just have been doing a lot of other kinds of stories lately namely romance and smut. Now let's see the funny side. This is a Heroes interview between several of its main characters and a few lesser costars who think they're a part of the main cast. I do not own any of them I'm just the talk show host. Tim Kring gets all the credit.

Jokerfest: Alright guys so you know what time it I, don't you?

*Looks around at the audience hoping they know what time it is*

Jokerfest: Hehe, okay well it's Hero time! This is going to be the first time ever when the characters are introduced and questioned. Everyone gets to tell their side of the story. And now for our first guest Peter Petrelli!

*Peter walks onto the stage, flipping his smexy emo bang nonchalantly*

Jokerfest: So…um Peter how are things with you? I mean season three has been screwing you over pal and I know you gotta have a few things that you wanna say.

Peter: Yeah, I do. These **Beep**-ing writers are complete **Beep**-holes! I mean I'm getting **Beep**-ed from all sides! My mom is a lying **Beep**, I'm related to Sylar, the **Beep**-tard that tried to kill me in season one, I turn out to be a complete **Beep-**hole in the future and Nathan still doesn't listen to a word I'm saying. So yeah, I gotta a few things I want to complain about.

Jokerfest: Wow, you don't curse that much on the show.

Peter: It's NBC, it'd be a different story if we were on HBO. Speaking of HBO what's with all the…what do they call it "Paire" things online? I don't get that.

Jokerfest: Ahem…*blushes slightly* yeah…people dig that sort of thing.

Peter: People_ like_ blatant incest?

Jokerfest:…

Peter:…?

Jokerfest: Oh *coughs loudly* yeah well let's talk about you're problems. How did you react when you found out you were related to Sylar?

Peter: Well after I snapped his neck…you know, I felt kinda bad. I mean the poor bastard never really did catch a break. I mean he did push me out of a 70 story building but the fact that I wasn't dead gives me hope.

Jokerfest: That's good becaaaauuuuse, HERE HE IS!!!!

Peter: What the **Beep**!

*Sylar takes a seat beside Peter, smiling evilly at him and then waving sweetly at the crowd.

Jokerfest: So Sylar how are you?

Sylar: Well considering I'm not in a level 5 cell and still have my powers *wiggles smexy eyebrows at Peter mockingly* I'd say things are pretty great with me.

Jokerfest: I dunno, unlike Peter you seem to have some mommy issues.

Peter: Damn straight he does!

Sylar: **Beep** you Peter!

Peter: Hey you wanna fight I will kick your ass up and down this place!

Sylar: Oh yeah, you and what power?

Peter: Oh, right. Sh-**eep**.

Jokerfest: Okay boys calm down now. Now Sylar how did you accept Angela Petrelli being your mother?

Sylar: Well, at first I was, you know, a bit skeptical. I mean how many mothers can I have? And she reclaims me _now_?

Peter: Mom is kind of a **Beep** you know.

Sylar: Do not talk about mother that way! *Hands glow with radiation*

Jokerfest: Okay you two, calm down. You'll poison our next guest…Mohinder!

Sylar and Peter: Aw, Sh-**eep**.

*Mohinder shuffles out wearing turtleneck and gloves. Takes a seat beside Peter. Peter scoots away nervously.

Jokerfest: Okay, Mohinder now I _know_ you have something to complain about.

Mohinder: Yes. I have to agree with Peter when he says that the writers are complete **Beep**-holes. They **Beep**-ed us both. Peter has no powers to speak of, I'm working with Sylar and now I'm turning to a sick parody of the Fly!

Jokerfest: Yeah they really did get you didn't they?

Mohinder: I mean, for chrissakes what kind of scientist injects himself with an untested gene altering chemical?!? How stupid do the writers think I am? And going to Pinehearst?? Haven't I learned my lesson after working with Bob and Noah, am I suicidal?!?!? How many companies have to **Beep** me over before the writers decide enough's enough?!? *Mohinder snaps arm of the chair, Peter scoots closer to Sylar*

Jokerfest: *nods in agreement* Yeah they do make you kind of stupid don't they?

Mohinder: Finally, someone sees it. I mean for a geneticist I have made the worst decisions on the show. I mean Peter makes mistakes all the time, but it's to be expected, he's a bit wishy washy with the whole...err,nurse thing.

Peter: I resent that. 'Sides at this point I think it's safe to say that I'm not a nurse.

Mohinder: True...oh and another thing! Arthur Petrelli thinks I'm going to work with my father's killer?!?! Is he mad?! That bastard had me hanging from a ceiling, threatened Molly, and then shot Maya! Working with him is just as bad as turning into a mutant insect! The man couldn't change even if he wanted to!

Sylar: Mohinder look I'm sorry okay? I'm just trying to change my ways, turn over a new leaf.

Mohinder: A leaf of pure unrestrained evil, you mean.

Jokerfest: Easy boys now let's bring on one of the other characters and up the estrogen a little shall we. I welcome Claire Bennet to the show!

*Claire enters and takes a chair and pushes it as far away from Sylar as politely possible*

Jokerfest: So, uh Claire it's safe to say you've made many changes haven't you?

Claire: Well yeah, before I used to be weak but I find that doing Company work has been good for me.

Mohinder: Until they get you killed.

Claire: Now, see I don't have that problem.

Mohinder: No, they just shot your father and stole your blood.

Claire: You did both of those after my father specifically told you not to.

*Mohinder blushes and bows his head*

Jokerfest: So, tell me about your new role with the whole kicking ass and taking names thing? I mean first the void guy and then the puppet man, what's driving you?

Claire: Well I'm tired of being a victim on this show. If I'm not being kidnapped, I'm being lied to, or tortured, or brain altered, or followed, or manipulated or...

Jokerfest: Oookay, so clearly you've been done wrong.

Claire: That about sums it up. It seems the only person that hasn't tried to do any of those things is Peter.

Peter: Actually in the future you kind of want to kill me so I'm guessing I'm gonna do something to piss you off eventually.

Claire: Yeah, that's right. Well, if it makes you feel any better you're still in my good books.

Jokerfest: What about Sylar, how do you feel about him?

Claire: Don't get me started on that sick **Beep!**

Peter: Claire!

Claire: I'm sorry Peter but Sylar is a manipulative psychopath. He ripped my skull open and...

Sylar: Hey I fixed you!

Claire: Did I ask to get _fixed_? I specifically remember running _away_ from you.

Sylar: You just don't know what's best for you.

Claire: Shut up Mama's boy! At least I don't cling to the first motherly figure that comes along. Ooo mommy I don't wanna be special anymore. I wanna be a widdle ordinary watchmaker. Waaa Waaa Somebody call the waambulance!

*Sylar growls menacingly with slightly watery eyes*

Sylar: Don't make me angry! You won't like me when I'm angry!

Jokerfest: Alright well let's bring out our next big player in the show, Noah Bennet!

*All the men cringe in fear and scoot away from Claire as quickly as possible*

Jokerfest:Hey how are you today?

Noah: Just fine thanks. Hey Claire-bear I missed you at home today honey.

Claire: I'm not speaking to you dad.

Noah: Claire stop being like this all I do is try and protect you!

Claire: And look where that's gotten us. Peter has his powers missing, Sylar's your partner, and what else? Oh yeah, that poor man committed suicide!

Noah: Now I admit that I've made some mistakes-

Sylar: Mistakes? That's what you call senselessly murdering others?

Peter: Shutup Sylar at least he tries to protect the people he cares about! What are you after?

Mohinder: There is no doubt that Mr. Bennet is just as creepy as you, but at least he didn't kill my father or kill about a dozen people!

Sylar: No, he's probably killed more!

Mohinder: But-

Noah: No, he's right about that one.

Mohinder: Oh.

Claire: Whatever, all I'm saying is that you should trust me Dad. I mean, you always leave, me Mom and Lyle in the dark. We had our first house nuked because of your secrets!

*Noah adjusts his glasses*

Jokerfest:Yeah, she does have a point there Mr. Bennet.

Noah: Well, we all survived didn't we? We got a nice home in Costa Verde.

Peter: Yeah, that Sylar takes from you and eventually destroys along with about 100,000 other people.

Sylar: Yay. *Sylar twirls finger in sarcastic motion* Let's just blame me for things I haven't done yet.

Peter: Just give me a reason!

Sylar: Hey are you accusing me of something Peter!?!

Mohinder: He is you stupid ass! You destroy everything you touch!

Sylar: You're just upset about all the Mylar fics out there!

Mohinder: **Beep **you Sylar! **Beep** you!

Sylar: In your dreams!

Mohinder: In my nightmares you mean! My worst nightmares!

*Two of them get up out of their chairs and glare at each other. Grab each other in a fierce hug and begin to make out passionately*

Jokerfest: *Puts away camera quickly* Alright then...I guess we should *ahem* cut to a commercial break. Until we come back this is Hero Time!

A/N: I have a plan about other characters that Iwant to use, but if you have any characters that you would like to put in just feel free to put it in a review.

Jokerfest


	2. Interview Part 2

Oh yeah I don't own any of the characters aside from myself. I do own the Talk show, but Tim Kring owns everything else.

Jokerfest: 'Kay folks we are back with Herooooo Time! Right now we've got Peter, Sylar, Mohinder, Claire and Noah on the show, but don't go away we've got more to come! So before the commercial break we were discussing the anger between brothers Sylar and Peter, the festering hatred between mad scientist-

Mohinder: I am _not _mad!

Jokerfest: *****cough***** crazy *cough* Anyway the fun is just beginning so stay in your seats and watch it all on unfold.

Peter: Yeah, because we all need to see a little more Mylar *laughs and points at the two who have pushed their chairs together*

Jokerfest: Actually Peter you've just forced my hand.

Peter: Umm...what?

Jokerfest: I welcome Niki and Tracy to the show.

Peter: **Beep **me.

*The two girls glare at each other...Niki pops unknown pill into mouth and grabs a seat next to Peter, Tracy takes seat near Noah*

Jokerfest: Hey girls how's it going?

Tracy and Niki: How the **Beep** do you think!?!?

Jokerfest: Oh...um okay, sorry! *waves hands frantically to calm them down* Okay look, right now we just want to get your side of the story.

Niki: Which side do you want because I got three other personaliti-

Tracy: Why do _I_ have to have a psycho sister?

Peter: Join the club *gestures at Sylar who is necking Mohinder*

Jokerfest: Sylar, Mohinder focus! Anyway go ahead Niki tell us how you're feeling.

Niki: Well I am out of the porn business, that's a definite plus.

Tracy: Slut.

Niki: Excuse me?

Tracy: Look do you know how awkward it is being mistaken for you!? I am sick and tired of having people harangue _me_ because they've got nudie shots of _you_!

Niki: Hey that wasn't me that was Jessica! Okay so I did some too, but still...

Tracy: And you slept with Nathan you hussy!

Peter: Jokerfest what the hell is the matter with you??!? You want Jessica to come out and start throwing furniture?

Jokerfest: Well, I hid all the mirrors so-

Peter: What about the camera lens, what about the **Beep**-ing camera lens?

Jokerfest: Sh-**eep**

Jessica: Hey guys how's it going?

Mohinder: I don't think I can afford any more visits from Jessica. Jokerfest may I-

Jokerfest: Run while you still can you smexy mad scientist you!

Mohinder: Thanks! * Unwraps himself from Sylar and runs backstage*

Jessica: Soo...uh...Tracy is it?

Tracy: Yeah?

Jessica: So how _exactly_ do you know Nathan?

Sylar: Peter I don't think this is going to end very well.

Peter: Yeah, no sh-**eep** Sherlock why do you think they tried to kill off Niki in season three?!?

*Girls fighting in the center of the room frozen furniture flying and smashing against wall*

Peter, Sylar, Noah, Jokerfest: **Beep**!

*Claire gets up and uses taser on Jessica*

Tracy: Umm yeah I'll be back when Nathan comes on.

*Shakes woodchips out of her hair and leaves via backstage*

Peter: Thank God, it's kind of awkward meeting someone you've slept with but haven't slept with yet.

Sylar: Only you would ever say something like that and actually be serious.

*Peter gives Sylar the finger, Sylar glares using his brows to look menacing*

Jokerfest: Well, yeah, thanks Claire!

Claire: No problem, just doing my job.

Noah: Atta girl Claire!

Claire: I am still not pleased with you.

Noah: Claire-bear-

Claire: Don't you Claire-bear me! If this taser had two rounds in it-

Jokerfest: Oookay. Well I'm gonna go ahead and have security take Niki back to the asylum and we'll welcome back Mohinder and our next guest Matt Parkman!

*Security brings out more chairs and take away the unconscious Niki*

Sylar: Haha fat ass!

Peter: Hey leave him alone he's not that bad.

Sylar: Oh come on Peter if he didn't have the ability to read minds he'd still be directing traffic.

Peter: Okay so you've got a point.

*Matt waves at everyone and then cringes, probably at Peter and Sylar's thoughts, decides to stand next to Jokerfest. Mohinder sits next to Sylar again*

Jokerfest: Yeah, Parkman you can't stand here.

Matt: I know but there is no way in hell I'm sitting next to Bennet.

Jokerfest: Well now that Niki is gone why not sit next to Peter?

Matt: Being near Peter never goes well for me. I mean there was the time he almost nuked me, the time I got shot three times, the time he tried to kill me at Primatech and the time Future Him sends me to Africa! I really don't feel safe around that guy.

Jokerfest: He doesn't have powers anymore so he can't hurt you.

Peter: Yeah, rub it in why don't you?

Sylar: No allow me. Hey Peter, guess what? You're not special.

Peter: **Beep**-ing **Beep**-hole I am going to kill you!!!

*Jokerfest looks over to Matt*

Jokerfest: I guess you can stand here.

Matt: And yeah I did lose a little weight thanks for thinking that.

Jokerfest: Yeah don't do that.

Matt: Sorry.

Jokerfest: So anyway how was Africa?

Matt: Pretty hot I guess. I think I shed four pounds in sweat alone.

Jokerfest: No, Matt we don't say things like that, just...no.

Sylar: Yeah, the only person that would look good sweating besides Mohinder is me.

Peter: What am I chopped liver?

Sylar: No, you're normal.

Peter: That's it!

*Peter reaches for Sylar's throat. Sylar uses telekinesis and makes Peter hit himself in the face repeatedly*

Jokerfest: THAT'S IT! YOU GUYS NEED TO CALM THE **BEEP** DOWN!!

*Sylar drops Peter and they both sit down quietly with their hands folded over their lap*

Matt: Whatever. Mohinder what the hell happened to you man? What's with the gloves?

Peter: Stupid ass here went and injected himself with some sort of freaky chemical and now he's turning into Jeff Gol- I mean a monster.

Matt: Great, now what am I gonna tell Molly when she gets back? Sorry you can't play with Mohinder he's too busy digesting his food with acid and laying eggs?

Mohinder: I do_ not_ lay eggs!

Matt: Whatever. Seriously what kind of scientist injects himself with stuff like that?

Mohinder: I was feeling left out okay...I just wanted to be-

*Mohinder puts his head in his hands and cries, Sylar pats his back gently and glares at Matt*

Matt: Gonna have to hire a real babysitter now! A _real_ babysitter I can't believe it! You know Mohinder before you go turning intoa wannabe Spiderman you should of thought of Molly! Where is the money for a babysitter coming from huh?

Sylar: You leave 'Hinder alone, bastard!

Matt: Look I'm just saying.

Sylar: How bout we not say anything, hmmm?

*Matt gulps and goes quiet*

Jokerfest: Wow, this is odd.

Claire: Tell me about it. Hey is it cool if I go? Cheerleading practice starts in two hours and you know...

Jokerfest: Yeah sure, and I hope the Company thing works out for ya!

Noah: I love you honey!

*Claire sends a chilling glare at Noah before going backstage*

Noah: If only she knew how much I love her.

Jokerfest: I'm sure she knows it's just-

Sylar: She doesn't care.

Noah: I don't care how strong you think you are I can still kick your ass!

Sylar: Ooo I'm quivering in my Company issued shoes.

Jokerfest: Sylar play nice. How would you like it if I made fun of the fact that you stabbed your mother with a pair of scissors, and then played coloring book on the floor with her blood?

Sylar: Hey that was an accident!

Peter: Which part? The part where you stabbed her or the part where you started drawing in her blood?

Sylar: **Beep** you!

Jokerfest: Okay guys well I'm just gonna go ahead and bring in our next guests Maya aaaaaand Alejandro!

Mohinder and Sylar: Christ.

Peter: Who the hell are they?

Noah: Yes, I'm also curious as to who they are.

Matt: Same.

* Alejandro and Maya both glare daggers at Sylar and Mohinder, Alejandro sits next to Mohinder and Maya sits next to Noah*

Jokerfest: Alright well you two get settled in and we will pick up with the interview after this commercial break!

A/N: Alright for those of you who commented I did squeeze in a little of your ideas into this chapter

**JessieDevil666:** You were totally on the money when I mentioned the Fly and I did little homage for you, just because it made me laugh and because you commented.

**LeaCharmedOne:** I couldn't really get Niki and Peter to talk to each other as much as you probably wanted because of the "future thing" but I hope that you liked the little cat fight between her and Tracy. Don't worry they'll be back soon ;) But yeah I did enjoy Matt and Mohinder a lot. And Maya and Molly will be making an appearance soon!

**Tera Earth:** My first commenter! Don't worry the Petrelli's will have their time and it is going to be quite...action packed.

**Emma Stargaze:** I didn't forget about Adam who I really really loved, but before him I want to bring out Hiro and Ando. I love those two guys and all three of them will certainly make for an interesting time.

Anyway this is **Jokerfest** over and out!


	3. Interview Part 3

I don't own any of the Heroes characters they belong to Tim Kring. I just love messin' with 'em. Okay guys so for those of you who are little confused about where everyone is sitting the beginning of Interview 3 has them sitting as follows:

Empty seat, Peter, Sylar, Mohinder, Alejandro, Noah, and Maya and then random empty chairs will be brought out as I see fit.

Jokerfest: Okay guys we're back again for another helping of Hero Time. Though we have had a few minor mishaps-

Peter: _Minor_? Electrocuting a guest is minor?

*Jokerfest gives Peter the finger and then smiles fakely at the camera*

Jokerfest: So as I was _saying_ *sends Peter a vicious glare* we've managed to hold down the fort and even bring in two new guests Maya and Alejandro. I have also brought in an unbiased translator for Alejandro who unfortunately does not speak English. *waves in the Haitian who sits next to Peter, at which point everyone whips out red helmet and moves their chair to the far end of the room* Oh relax guys!

Peter: Yeah, you try waking up handcuffed to a storage box in Ireland!

Matt: Or missing two days and waking up on the sofa!

Sylar: Or finding yourself in a cell and experimented on!

Jokerfest: Well today he's a translator and besides Noah can vouch for him, right?

Noah: Yep, he's a good man.

Matt: Uh huh that _really_ comforts me. I think I'll stay near Jokerfest where it's safe. *adjusts helmet*

Jokerfest: Err...right. So let's start with Alejandro's story. Haitian do you mind asking what was going through his mind while traveling through Mexico?

Sylar: Oh, sh-**eep** here it comes.

*Haitian and Alejandro speak in Spanish. Alejandro has very angry look and is constantly pointing at Sylar and growling*

Haitian: He says this, 'That bastard betrayed me and my sister and left me for dead! I tell my sister not to trust Sylar he has killed before, but she is sooooo in love with him that she ignores _me_ her own flesh and blood to go with him. Ungrateful **Beep**!

*Maya shakes fist in anger and begins yelling at Alejandro in Spanish*

Mohinder: I would just like to point out that it is a good thing her powers have been removed otherwise we'd all be dead.

Sylar: I share that sentiment.

Haitian: Maya says' You arrogant prick how was I supposed to know he was evil'

Alejandro says' They invented the internet for a reason'

Maya says back 'Well, he did not look like a liar'

Alejandro says' Well then he wouldn't be a good liar, woman'

Jokerfest: Okay! Wow, seems things are rather heated between the two siblings. Haitian ask Alejandro what he thinks of Sylar being a good guy now.

Sylar: Now you're just being a **Beep**.

Jokerfest: *grins evilly* and loving every second of it!

*Haitian tells Alejandro about Sylar, Alejandro laughs hysterically while slapping his knees*

Sylar: That son of a **Beep**!

Peter: I don't have to speak Spanish to know what he's thinking.

Noah: Hmmm, I think Alejandro and I have a lot to discuss after the show. *rubs chin thoughtfully*

Sylar: I bet.

Haitian: Alejandro says' That **Beep**-tard's heart is so evil that you'd have to crack open his ribcage just to prove it was beating' He also mentions that Sylar tried to stab him to death and then **Beep**-ed his sister ten minutes later, how **Beep**-ed up is that?'

Mohinder: You slept with Maya?!? Maya you really slept with _him_?

Sylar: Yeah we were together what's the big deal?

Mohinder: Why didn't you tell me you were sleeping with Sylar?

Maya: I didn't see it as any of your business. Besides when were you going to tell me about those cocoon things you got hanging off your walls, huh!?!?

Mohinder: Don't try to change the subject!

Sylar: Hey, did _you_ sleep with her!? I thought the writers were gonna hook me and Maya up!

Mohinder: Well, she belongs with me!

Sylar: Like hell she does!

*Alejandro begins yelling at the both of them*

Haitian: Alejandro says 'Says that the only way you're gonna get to Maya is over his dead body'

*Sylar cracks his neck and Mohinder cracks his knuckles*

Mohinder: That can be arranged.

Sylar: If I did it once I can do it again.

Jokerfest: Watch it boys *glares daggers at the both of them, they sigh and slump into their seats*

Peter: Hey I thought you two were together now, what you both want Maya now?

Maya: Que?!? You two are gay?

Mohinder and Sylar: Bi

Maya: Aha! So that settles it you two have each other then!

Mohinder: I gave up my humanity for you Maya! Doesn't that mean anything?

Maya: Uh, it means your turning into some sort of bug...a disgusting bug.

Mohinder: But you have to admit the sex was mind-blowing.

*Maya blushes*

Maya: Yeah...yes it was...*ahem* but that's beside the point! I don't forgive you!

Sylar: What about me?

Maya: You shot me, what makes you better than him?!?

Sylar: Well, I'm becoming good now, doesn't that count for something?

Maya: You still do that thing in bed with your...? *Quirks eyebrow suggestively*

Sylar: Wanna find out? *Shows off sexy smirk*

*Alejandro begins pointing at Sylar and Maya and speaking angrily*

Haitian: He says 'I can't believe you're doing it again! Are you **Beep**-ing retarded!?! How many times does he have to **Beep** us over before you stop sleeping with him? My God woman keep your legs closed'

*The two siblings begin to speak angrily in Spanish while Mohinder and Sylar yell at each other*

Jokerfest: Hello? Hello? Oh dammit and a half. OKAY GUYS YOU'VE DONE IT NOW! I welcome three new guests...well slightly new. Come on out Future Peter, Elle, and Hiro!

Peter: What the **Beep**! How did you get ahold of that bastard?!?

Jokerfest: Oh, I got Hiro to go into the future's past and bring him back before Claire shot at him and met him in the parking lot and-

Peter: Nevermind you're confusing the hell out of me!

*Future Peter slicks back his hair and waves at Sylar happily then sits next to Noah. Elle fidgets a little as electricity runs through her, sends a manic grin the crowd's way and sits next to the Haitian. Hiro gives the peace sign to the crowd, waves at Peter and then sits next to Elle.*

Jokerfest: Wow, I'm really glad I had security bring in those_ extra_ chairs.

Peter: You planned this didn't you?

*Jokerfest smiles innocently*

Jokerfest: Now what would give you _that_ idea? Moving on...let's kick things off with Future Peter!

Future Peter: I'm just glad I'm alive, I mean saving the world can be pretty demanding. Especially with my past self being such a dumbass.

Peter: **Beep **you! I am not a dumbass!

Everyone: Yeah you are!

*Peter crosses his arms angrily, letting his emo bang hang over his eye*

Future Peter: Anyway, I'm kind of wondering what the hell you guys are all doing. I mean the future was pretty bad before but you guys are really **Beep**-ing things up now.

*Elle pouts*

Elle: I'm br*twitches*oken so it's not my fault! At least I am tryi-trying to get help! *Twitches uncontrollably then stops*

Mohinder: Well excuse us for not being able to see the repercussions of our actions four years into the future!

Future Peter: You have Hiro so no excuses.

Hiro: Uh, actually I join bad team now!

Sylar: Wait a minute you look strangely familiar...

Hiro: No I look berry berry strange to you.

Sylar: You're the bastard that stabbed me in season one!

Jokerfest: Hey, he was trying to save the world!

Sylar: By stabbing the person who _wasn't _going nuclear. Good plan, that.

Hiro: You are still berry bad man! You a billan!

Future Peter: Leave my brother alone.

Noah: It makes me cringe a little knowing the two of you are brothers.

Elle: I dunno all three of them are kinda hot *Electricity snaps viciously, lights go out for a few seconds*

Future Peter: Would it make you feel better knowing that your precious Claire wears form fitting clothes, stops going to school, and works full time for the Company?

Noah: Go to hell, my Claire would never-

Sylar: Well she did go after those two level 5 escapees didn't she?

Noah: I will make you forget you were potty trained if you keep talking, monster!

Haitian: I am neutral my friend.

Maya: I do not understand any of this.

*Alejandro tries to catch Maya's attention so they can leave*

Mohinder: You had better stop that or I'll break your neck!

*Haitian translates this to Alejandro, who then crosses his arm and pretends he has a cool emo bang to hang over his eye*

Matt: You know from what I can see all of you have everything wrong. Peter, Future Peter really isn't that bad, you're the real cause of Costa Verde. Sylar, Maya doesn't want to be with you or Mohinder or her brother for that matter. Noah, Future Peter is telling the truth about Claire. Elle, no one is falling for the innocent act we all know you're a few hues short of a rainbow. Hiro you could never be a bad ass Ando was totally lying. Haitian everyone is afraid of you except for Noah despite the whole being "neutral thing" and Jokerfest Sylar thinks you're pretty hot but he still wants to get in Mohinder and Maya's pants. I say give him a few weeks.

*Everyone goes silent and stares at Matt*

Matt: What? What'd I do?

*Jokerfest grits teeth*

Jokerfest: Commercial break NOW!!!

A/N:

**JessieDevil666:** Yep so now you gotta little taste of Maya and Alejandro...they both got sucker punched in this one. Heehee and sorry about school...but I can't make any promises about that not happening again.

**LeaCharmedOne:**Peter definitely have time to focus on the siblings...he was to busy trying to get over himself...I love puns I can't help it.

**Emma Stargaze: **Yup Matt's power can definitely be a bitch at times.


	4. Interview Part 4

Jokerfest: Okay so Hero time is back you guys and boy have we got a show for you! Last time...well let's just say Matt won't be joining us this time around-

Mohinder:Bastard probably won't be walking after what Sylar did to him.

Elle: Tubby needed the break anyway, a-a-a-nd I mean that quit-t-t-t-e literally *lights dim and then become extremely bright*

Jokerfest: *in conspirative tone* Guys we promised not to talk about this. Er.. right! Anyway, our current guests were battling over the the changes made to the future and I have to admit that there seems to be a few things that are off.

Peter: Oh yeah, like what?

Jokerfest: Well...first off Future Peter is dead because he was protecting past Peter? Costa Verde was caused by you...so if you hadn't gone to the future everything wouldn't have blown up, which means that that can't be the future because you don't have powers anymore-

Peter: Stop it! You know how I get when people try to make me explain my actions!

Future Peter: Yeah, because having a plan of action can really make a negative impact on the creative juices.

Peter: **Beep** you!

Future Peter: Look we're the same guy-

Peter: I will not become you! You stuck me in the body of a level 5 prisoner, shot Nathan and sent Matt to Africa! What the hell is _that_ man?!?!

Future Peter: Well, not exactly my best plan but-

Peter: Not your best plan are you **Beep**-ing kidding me!!?!

Future Peter: Well at least I'm not a tight ass like Future Hiro!

Hiro: That is not berry nice of you. He was only a killa because he lost his path.

Future Peter: The guy was a **Beep**-ing tight ass and you know it.

Sylar: You know as interesting as this is, some of us can't time travel.

Mohinder: Sylar's right as of now none of us non-time traveler's have a clue as to what's going on.

Jokerfest: Aha well it's a good thing I tiVoed this.

Future Peter and Peter: What!?!?

Hiro: Nani!?!

Jokerfest: Yeah, I got clips of the future *tries to look modest, but failing miserably* 'kay guys roll the clip!

*everyone turns to giant tv screen*

....a few minutes later later....

Mohinder: Dammit, a hideous monster, really!?!?

Sylar: I cut waffles? Seriously?

Noah: Hmmm...so what am I up to at this point, and why the hell is Sylar in my house!?!?

Mohinder: Is that all your worried about? What about _**ME**_! I look like a monster!

Sylar: Don't worry I'm sure-

Maya: So I guess I'll stay single then.

Sylar and Mohinder: Damn!

Maya: Alejandro a la avion!

*Maya and Alejandro wave to the crowd and head backstage to catch cab to the airport*

Haitian: Since I am no longer needed...

Jokerfest: Yeah, I guess you can go, but thanks for helping out. Really, it was appreciated."

*Haitian smile eerily and then leaves...everyone breathes a sigh of relief and removes helmet*

Haitian: AHA!

*Everyone screams and the lights cut off*

Haitian: That was...uplifting. I will see all of you later.

*Lights come back on and Haitian and Noah are both gone*

Sylar: I don't give a **Beep** what anyone says I was never _that _**Beep**-ing creepy.

Everyone: Agreed.

Jokerfest: Okay so I guess it's about that time we introduce some mor-

Peter: Christ woman aren't you done bringing in more "guests"! Just bring the **Beep**-ing people out and let's get this over with. *Sulks in seat and presses down emo bang even further over his eye*

Jokerfest: Touchy, touchy. Anyway it's time to bring out some of the costars...I mean stars *Jokerfest mouths the word costars to the audience* Ando, Adam and Nathan!

Peter: Jokerfest you are a **Beep**-ing bitch and you know it!

Hiro: Ando! *speaks rapidly in Japanese and motions for him to sit beside him*

*Ando sits beside Hiro, Nathan sits beside Future Peter ignoring the fact the the other Peter is motioning for him to sit beside him and Adam sits next to Mohinder.*

Jokerfest: Hey guys how's it going?

Adam: Do you really want us to answer truthfully?

Jokerfest: Umm well-

Adam: Because to be truthful it seems that the more stupid you are on the show the more likely you are to survive!

Peter: I resent that!

Sylar and Future Peter: Shut up moron!

Peter: *in quiet voice* Well I do...

Adam: No! I am sick and tired of fools like _him _*points at Hiro* and _him_ *points at Peter* surviving and then people like myself getting killed off! It is bloody ridiculous and you know it! I am immortal for godssakes!

Jokerfest: I can see how that can be frustrating.

Adam: Frustrating does not even begin to express how angry...how **furious** I am!

Hiro: If you had not become a billan you would have lived.

Adam: Oh, so the fact that Sylar here is alive *points at the smexy devil* is completely okay with everyone!?!

Mohinder: *studies Sylar for a moment* More or less I suppose. I mean, I am supposed to work with him.

Sylar: Hey, I'm turning over a new leaf and exactly who are you?

Adam: Shutup you're not who I want to have a word with. Carp! You tricked me!

Hiro: Nani!?!? You get man at bar to hit me in the face!

Ando: Well...you never listen to me Hiro! I told you, no! Adam is a bad man...still you had to dig him up!

Adam: Ando is right! You never listen to anyone, always running off trying to do the right thing and then you just get everyone killed!

Hiro:You liar!

Nathan: He tried to stop you at Primatech! He did nothing but try to save us!

Peter: And he did warn us about Claire. If it weren't for him then we'd all be dead. Well except for Claire and I...

Nathan: You really are in love with-

Peter: Hey you shutup Nathan! You never listen to a thing that I say! Didn't I warn you about Linderman, about Claire, the end of the world!?!?

Nathan: Pete-

Peter: Oh no you don't You just sit there and listen dammit!

Mohinder: Peter calm down Nathan is just trying to-

Peter: No! This bastard has completely ignored everything that I've ever told him! I say to him, Nathan, Linderman is a bad idea. So what does he do he lets Linderman fund his campaign! I say hey Nathan the paintings predict the future try to get ahold of one for me...what does he do he destroys it! **Beep-**in' A! When will you ever listen to me!?!

Nathan: When you zip up your goddamn pants!

*Mohinder slaps his hand over his face. Sylar covers his mouth to keep from laughing. Future Peter just shakes his head*

Future Peter: I **Beep-**ing hate myself.

Ando: He really makes us good guys look like complete dumbasses!

Hiro: Hai.

Adam: So you don't think it's a little unfair that I got killed off the show?

Jokerfest: Hey don't look at me, I thought you were cute, funny, _and _smart. It was the writers that put you down.

Adam: Put me down? Is that what you call being mummified and turned to dust in ten seconds?

Jokerfest: Well-

Adam: Oh no you don't! My death was not only untimely it was bloody unfair! Everyone else gets to die doing something heroic, but me!? Oh no! Let's just kill the only British bloke on the show by letting a paraplegic kill him!

Ando: I don't think it was because you were British.

Hiro: Wait wasn't Linda-man from England too?

Adam: To hell with Carp! You took Yaeko from me!

Hiro: I was going to go back into the past and fix it, but you...you stupid bad man! You drugged me!

Ando: If you would just take me with you Hiro!

Hiro: Ando sometimes a hero must do these things alone.

Ando: What you mean liking getting your ass handed to you!?! All the time Hiro you get yourself into trouble and I have to save you. But still you leave me behind.

Hiro: I do no-

Ando: Is that so Hiro, so when you went to see Takezo Kensei?

Hiro: That was an accident.

Ando: To save Charlie?

Hiro: ...

Ando: To see you father's killer!

Hiro: ...

Ando: Oh and when you went to Primatech to stop Peter...no not even then...when you actually went to see Peter and Adam in the current time!

Hiro: ...

Ando: You are always leaving me behind! No wonder I kill you in the future!

Peter: Wait I thought-

Ando: Oh no Peter Petrelli Sylar does not kill me, not in the new future. I live and kill Hiro, but of course, I did not see this future. Because Hiro left me behind _that _time too!

Jokerfest: Wow...Hiro you kinda suck as a best friend.

Peter: You're even worse than Nathan.

Nathan: I'm really not sure how to take that.

Adam: Take it as a compliment, trust me.

Mohinder: Come to think of it I don't think I've really ever been acquainted with Hiro or Ando.

Future Peter: Probably has something to do with the fact that he becomes a fugitive of the law.

Mohinder: That would do it.

Sylar: And the fact that you mutate into some sick monster, don't forget that.

Mohinder: Thanks for reminding me.

Jokerfest: Anywho it's time to bring on some more guests. Sorry in advance Nathan, Peter...well Sylar you might be happy so...

Peter: Oh **Beep** no. You're not really gonna bring on-

Nathan: Sh-**eep**

Sylar: Yay!

Jokerfest: You guessed it guys. After our next commercial break we bring on some the two most manipulative **Beep**-es that ever walked on planet Earth; Arthur and Angela Petrelli!

Peter: You really do hate us.

Nathan: Perhaps a lawyer would be in order.

Sylar: Mom and Dad! Yay! *Claps hands and smiles widely*

*Peter, Future Peter, and Nathan exchange glances*

Future Peter: He really has no idea.

Nathan: Nope

Peter: I should have stayed home.

A/N Hey guys sorry it took me so long to update. I've had so much stuff on my plate these past few weeks and have been trying to get at least one update on all my stories. Didn't forget about you or my little Heroes get together. And the moment most of you have all been waiting for is coming up next chapter...THE PETRELLI FAMILY!!!! So get ready for some serious chaos!


	5. Interview Part 5

I Do not own any of the Heroes characters, they belong to Tim Kring. I just own the set they're sitting in and myself of course! Anyway review, rant, and/or enjoy.

Jokerfest: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'RE BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK WITH MORE HERO TIME! Hey guys we are finally back from that extremely long commercial break-

Peter: You mean that wonderful part in-between shows when you're not tormenting us?

Jokerfest: Oh come on-

Angela: Peter you will treat our host with some respect *takes seat between Elle and Peter*

Arthur: Angela is right, we raised you better than that. *sits beside Nathan*

Peter and Future Peter: **Beep** that!

Nathan: Ma, what are you and dad doing here any way? How the hell did Jokerfest find you?

Angela: We'll come to that road when we cross it.

Peter: It's _always_ secrets with you two isn't it!

Angela: Peter, if you knew the sacrifices that we made for you and Nathan-

Peter: I don't! That's the problem!

Mohinder: Peter do you really think it's best t-

Peter: Hell yeah, we're gonna do this right now!

Nathan: Pete we're not gonna fight mom and dad in public, not like this. *Begins to text lawyer*

Future Peter: Actually, can't believe I'm sayin' this but I'm with Peter on this one.

Mohinder: *gasps fakely* No! Peter agreeing with himself, how..._new_.

Future Peter: Go **Beep** yourself!

Hiro: Hey Peter, dis is not like you!

Future Peter: Trust me you're not all sunshine and rainbows in the future either.

Adam: Heh, from the looks of it you're future isn't a bright one, eh, Carp?

*Hiro shudders and pushes up glasses nervously*

Nathan: *mouths the word 'Got a lawyer' to Peter*

*Both Peters nod*

Peter: Never mind guys we're cool.

Jokerfest: Alright...*quirks eyebrow* as interesting as that little snit-

Future Peter: Snit?

Jokerfest: Whatever, you guys are the most dysfunctional family I've ever met! How'd you guys manage not to poison each other at Thanksgiving dinner?

Angela: *eyes Arthur* It was harder than you will ever know

Sylar: Mom, you can't keep threatening dad like that!

Nathan: Yeah, actually she can. She has, she is, and-

Future Peter: She will, trust me. I've seen it.

Elle: You gu-guys are even wor-se-se than me and daddy *accidentally zaps Ando*

Ando:Ouch! Jokerfest can you please let me move. She will kill me before the show is over!

Jokerfest: Nah, use these! *hands Ando rubber boots*

Ando: *sarcastically* Wow, thanks.

Jokerfest: Anytime. Now back to you Petrelli people. Angela what made you get with this fool in the first place?

Arthur: Excuse-

Angela: I thought I loved him. And look at what a mistake _that_ was.

Sylar: *whispers to himself* I don't like it when mom and dad fight.

Peter:*whispers back* I don't like it when psycho killers toss me out windows.

*Lawyer struts onto the stage briefcase in hand*

Jokerfest: Wait, who are you?

Lawyer: I am Neal Stevenson, Nathan Petrelli's lawyer. I'm here to mediate and also to make sure that all transgressions against Nathan and Peter Petrelli are duly noted and attended to accordingly. *straightens tie and smiles like a **beep-**hole*

Mohinder: So basically you're here to babysit Peter and Nathan, right?

Neal: Correct.

Mohinder: What I wouldn't give for money like that.

Noah: I'm sure there's alot of things a taxi driver finds himself lacking.

Mohinder: Shut up! I'm a geneticist!

Future Peter: Aka mad scientist.

Mohinder: You shut up, I could crush you where you stand!

Future Peter: You really think so?

Peter: I know that I got the lawyer covering my **beep** but what about Future Peter?

Nathan: Neal only covers people in the same time and dimension as he is, I asked before he came.

*Future Peter and Mohinder are pullign each other's hair like sissy girls*

Jokerfest: Alright, you guys calm it down, before I get _my _lawyer.

*two men look at each other, down at their shoes and then go back to their seats all sad-like*

Jokerfest: So Arthur *glares at everyone else daring them to say something* your wife poisoned you, and left you for dead. What do you want to say to her after that?

Arthur: She's a cold hearted **beep** what else is there to say? She's not thinking about the big picture, honestly think about all the joy Nathan's death would have brought our family.

Nathan: What!?!?

Arthur: You heard me. If I hadn't had to kill you, then your wife wouldn't have gotten injured, Angela would still be with me, Peter would have become a nurse or committed suicide, and I would have complete control over the company.

Adam: You know, he's right. Alot would have actually gone right for us all had you died Nathan...you know I would have lived...

Peter: I would be happy...

Hiro: *whispers softly* I would have been stuck in a diner.

Sylar: Peter probably would not have met Ted or tried to blow up New York. Hell, Nathan you really are the bane of all our existences, arentcha? *Grins evilly*

*Everyone looks at Nathan angrily*

Nathan: Huh. *grabs at collar nervously* Well imagine that. Neal, help me out here!

Neal: As the law stipul- *Sylar flings Neal backstage*

Jokerfest: Sylar that wasn't very nice of you.

Sylar: Sorry.

Jokerfest: No, no, just throw a chair at him next time. Who knows what you've broken offset!

*Sylar grins widely and blows Jokerfest a kiss*

Jokerfest: *blushing*

Angela: Well isn't that cute.

Future Peter: Jealous because you and dad are the only people who _haven_'_t _gotten any?

Everyone: Ouch.

Ando: Hey wait. No, I do run into strippers from time to time, I'm good.

Angela: You are such an awful waste of flesh. I can't believe that you're my son!

Jokerfest: Speaking of sons *looks at Angela knowingly*

Angela: Don't you-

Jokerfest: What?

Angela: Fine!

Arthur: Actually if you think about it out of the evil people here, I am the least evil.

Adam: Is that so?

Arthur: Well, remember if Nathan had died as I had planned your death could have easily been avoided.

*Adam glares at Nathan*

Adam: I'll keep that in mind.

Elle: You-you *twitches left eye uncontrollably* know none of my problems ever get solved!

Sylar: They do eventually, I'm sure.

Peter: Coming from Sylar that doesn't seem like a good thing.

Sylar: Yeah, you're right.

Angela: The two of you deserve each other always **beep-**ing up other peoples plans!

Future Peter, Peter, and Nathan: Mom!

Angela: It's true Sylar always killing for no good reason! Peter trying to save the world but **beep-**ing it all up for everyone. And the sh-**eep** that comes out of your mouth is always too ridiculous to contemplate. Ooo save the cheerleader, we have to find the man who can see into the future, oh I stole another man's body...on and on and **beep-**ing on!

Jokerfest: Well at least now I can see where he gets his mouth!

*Angela flips off Jokerfest*

Jokerfest: You know what...Sylar bring back that lawyer!

Sylar: Sure! *waves the lawyer back with his finger and sets him into a chair*

Jokerfest: How much is Nathan paying you?

Neal: Umm...ummm...well about 10,000 a person...

Jokerfest: I'll triple that if you get Angela on theft charges, y'know that sort of thing.

Neal: I'm sure I can arrange that. I'll make some calls.

Angela: You little **beep**!

Jokerfest: I'm not little I'm 5'8" thank you very much!

*Peter grins and sends Nathan an air high five*

Jokerfest: Well guys that's all the time we have for tuday-

Peter: I think I actually enjoyed this one, nothing bad happened!

Jokerfest: That's the spirit! So anyway see you all next time o- *lights cut off*

Elle: S-sorry.

Jokerfest: Dammit Elle! Anyway we'll be back whenever the hell the lights get fixed! Again!

*Elle giggles nervously*

Ando: Ouch dammit!

A/N : Hey guys sorry for neglecting this piece for SOOOOOOOOOOO long. I couldn't think of anything to write and of course I was being **beep-**ing lazy! I will update the chapters to match that of the current season soon...I just wanted to get this chapter done first. I had already started it pre Nathan's hostile takeover. Next chapter things will heat up as the characters storylines develop! Anyway as always comment in the people you want showing up and I'll try to deliver. Till next time!


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